Notes from this Episode:

Helping your child succeed isn’t about how much information you can stuff inside their heads. It doesn’t matter if they take the right AP or honors classes, where they go to college, or what high school they attend. It isn’t even about what elite preschool they go to (some are $10,000 a year!!!)

Five Pillars for Success

1. A stable home environment

Basic needs of food/shelter/appropriate clothing

• Safe, clean, clutter-free and stress-free
• Routines/schedules that put the guardrails on their life
  • There’s comfort in knowing what to expect in the day to day living
  • Reduces the stress of the home which allows children to develop their executive function skills

2. Connection with people who love them for who they are

• Parents who see the good and praise and encourage them rather than always focusing on the faults and failings
• Parents who challenge children to develop in virtue
  • Orderliness – taking responsibility for and doing chores around the house
  • Patience – in dealing with siblings or not getting their way
  • Generosity – teaching our children to be generous in forgiving another, in giving the benefit of       the doubt to another, in not holding grudges

3. Boundaries / Limitations

• Self-Control – not just about getting our way
• Interpersonal skills of respect, thoughtfulness, self-control
• Eliminating self-imposed boundaries from low self-esteem
  • Persistence
• Self-Control – not just about getting our way
• Interpersonal skills of respect, thoughtfulness, self-control
• Eliminating self-imposed boundaries from low self-esteem
  • Persistence
  • Courage to try something new
  • Growth Mindset
  • Giving them the space to try new things and be there when they fail – helping them see that failure is just learning
  • Helping them establish their thought and emotional boundaries
    • Teaching them to not let their emotions control their thoughts but rather helping them identify their thoughts that serve them which create healthy emotions

3. A learning environment at home

• Exposure to the Good, the True, and the Beautiful
• Good books and mandatory reading time
• Eliminate the junk food of technology – even ‘learning games’ – dopamine hit
• Encourage curiosity to learn new things

4. A higher purpose in life

• An understanding that they are not the center of the universe
• A connection to past generations through faith
• Divine Filiation
• Moral code set down by the Creator
• An inner core of hope
  • That things will turn out alright
  • That someone – God will cover my faults and weaknesses and take care of me
• Sacrificial love – learn the power of sacrificial love through the lives of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph and then learn to live with a sense of sacrificial love