Notes from This Episode:

Background

• We have a profound effect on the whole atmosphere of our home
• It is one of our biggest jobs – to create a bright and cheerful home, a sanctuary for our family
• A home should be a place where each person (adults and children alike) know that they are respected, accepted, and loved for who they are.  It should be a place where all are listened to and not unjustly judged

How to Create the Emotional Environment of the Home

Respect:

• Respect between spouses
  • This is critical to our children’s feelings of safety and security
  • Parents should avoid arguing in front of children.  This may mean you need to wait before you discuss an issue
  • Spouses should be very careful in the way they argue – no name calling or harsh words
  • Do you show your children that your husband is the most important person in your life?  Do you demand that they respect him?
  • If you find there is disrespect in your relationship with your husband, have a candid conversation with him and discuss how the disrespect between the two of you will undercut your parenting and teach your children to disrespect you both
  • Respect between child and parent
    • If we don’t teach our children how to respect and honor us (as in, Honor Your Father and Mother), no one else will
    • It also sets up a spiritual problem for our children.  Teaching them that we are the boss, the rule setter, the final word helps the children to understand their relationship with God.  He is the boss, the rule setter, the final word
    • If you have respect problems with your children when they are toddlers, you can’t even begin the imagine the respect problems you will have when they are teenagers
  • Respect between parent and child
    • If you find your impatience or stress turns to disrespect of the children, that needs to be your primary focus of change each day
    • Phrases such as, “You’re stupid” or “Shut up” sink deeply into a child’s mind and attacks their self-esteem and self-confidence
    • Figure out what your trigger points are and then decide your plan of action to remove yourself from escalating emotions
    • And remember that children are forgiving and will sense if you are humble in your acknowledgement of past mistakes and desire to change
  • Respect between siblings
    • Teach your children that friendship between siblings is important – friends may come and go, but they will always have their siblings and to treat each other well
    • When there is conflict, help them to see the other side of things and teach them to work it out and let go of resentments
    • When they are adults, they will have to decide how they’re going to treat each other, but if you don’t set the foundation for your children when they’re young, they will have nothing to aspire to

Instill affection into your home

• Physical affection strengthens bonds between everyone
  • Young children and especially teenagers and young adults need just as much affection as the babies
  • It is through our affection that our children feel they belong and bonded

Listen to each other with your eyes

• Step back and look at how you interact with each other
  • Do you have firm rules about devices so that they people of the home don’t feel inferior to the devices of the home?
  • Look at your children and listen to them when they are speaking to you and teach them to do the same when you are speaking

Final Thoughts

• Are you happy with the emotional environment of your home?
• Remember, you and your husband are the leaders of your home.  Own your leadership role and set goals and dreams for yow you envision your family life in 10, 20, even 30 years from now