Notes from this Episode:

Background

• Do you ever see older couples walking hand-in-hand down the street and think, “They must not have had any troubles in their marriage.  That’s why they’re here in their old age, walking hand-in-hand.  They must have been lucky.  They must have had it easy.”?
• Marriage is not easy for anyone.  Sometimes the downs always seem bigger than the ups.
• The difference between those who grow old together and those that do not is not that one couple is spared any hardships or difficulties, but rather, it is the grace of God and a very strong commitment that they will not fail.
• Divorce should never be an option for you.

Marriage is Hard and Takes a Lot of Work

• It is easy to look at someone else’s life, someone who is successful, and say, “Wow!  They must not have had the problems I have.”  It is simply not true.
• Everyone has a marriage that takes work.
• The marriages that last are the ones that keep starting over again and again.  The ones that fail are the ones that quit.
• It is through the journey of joys and heartaches that we find real love – the kind that does not question motives or intentions anymore.  This is the love that is true friendship and a reflection of God’s love for us.

Choose to Work Hard on Your Marriage

• Why do we celebrate 40 and 50-year anniversaries?  Because that is a long time to be working it out with someone.  It is many opportunities of forgiving and asking for forgiveness.
• It is in the working out, the overcoming obstacles, the sacrifice, the “take up your cross and follow me” that we truly learn to love.
• Marriage is a life-long and God-given mission, and it is a life-giving mission.
• When we look at our marriage through that lens, it becomes much different than what the world wants you to believe it is.

Not About Our Needs

• are fulfilled when we are living in authentic friendship with our spouse.  Marriage is about choosing to love, choosing to see his perspective over yours, making the choice to forgive him, even when you do not want to, and putting our husband first, before our children, our family, our friends, and any other activities.
• Marriage is about challenging the other person to become the best version of themselves and allowing them to challenge us in our weaknesses and faults. 
• It is about forming a friendship with another that commits to helping your spouse get to heaven

Final Thoughts

• The secret sauce behind the successful, long-term marriages is sacrifice – sacrifice without counting the cost, without keeping a tally, without reminding the other of our sacrifice.
• When we surrender our will in love, we become Christ to our spouse.
• Just as Jesus sacrificed in love for us, we love our spouse with the same sacrificial love.
• The greatest gift you have been given is holy perseverance.  Pray for holy perseverance in your marriage.
  • The greatest gift we can give our children is the example of holy perseverance in nurturing a strong friendship with our beloved.
  • And know that your children did not sign up for divorce
• Pray with gratitude for the gift of your marriage.  Show up to your husband with gratitude for the gift of him and know that through your sacrifice in your marriage, you are becoming more aligned with the woman that God has made you to be.