Notes from this Episode:

Background

• This episode will be the first of a two-part episode on both perseverance and fortitude.
• After just finishing Lent, I am sure that we were all confronted at some point or another with our lack of perseverance or maybe our children’s lack of perseverance, so I thought this would be a good opportunity to examine our own perseverance and fortitude and then how do we teach that to our children?
• Let me just remind you that the biggest and best teacher for both of these virtues is your children watching you.

What is Perseverance and Fortitude?

• Perseverance – to have continued effort to do or achieve something, despite difficulties, failure, or opposition.
• Fortitude – the strength of mind that enables a person to either encounter danger or bare pain or adversity with courage.
• Perseverance is more about continuing the action and effort, whereas fortitude is the strength of mind and character.
• Fortitude is the mental and emotional strength that enables courage in the face of adversity, while perseverance is the continuation in a course of action without regard to discouragement, opposition, or previous failure.

Perseverance, Achievement, and Intelligence

• Perseverance is often an accurate predictor of achievement.
• Children who are academically gifted might have trouble later in their teens or early adulthood because they had not been forced to practice perseverance when they were young.
  • When things are very easy to children when they are young, they do not have the opportunity to learn how to persevere, so when they get older and are suddenly confronted with things that are not easy, they have to learn the virtue of perseverance.

How to Help Your Children with Perseverance

• Set goals for your children that you will follow up with.
  • You need to articulate for them what goals could be for their life.
  • The goals can be very simple, such as staying in bed and completing jobs around the house.
  • Goals can also include teaching your children about being true to their word and being honest.
• Articulate the steps needed to achieve the goals, especially with young children.
  • Break down big goals into smaller, simpler steps that teach habits with each step.
• Explain to your children the purpose behind the need for perseverance.
  • Tell your children it makes them strong, and a job well done is really important in who their character is.
  • Explain to your children that the objective of perseverance is to help develop inner strength.

Obstacles, Celebrations, and Perseverance

• Teach your children to anticipate obstacles.
  • One common obstacle is waning enthusiasm.  We can choose to give in to that emotional obstacle, or we can choose to not allow our emotions to rule our brain.
  • When a difficulty or obstacle arises, we recognize that even though this is hard, we are just going to keep doing it.
• Do not jump in and do everything for your children or indulge their disappointments.
  • In doing so, you are actually teaching your children to believe that they cannot do a task for themselves and that you have no confidence in them.
• Celebrate and acknowledge results.
  • There is nothing wrong with the good, healthy, holy pride that we instill in our children.
  • This is especially important in the teenage years when they really need positive encouragement and dopamine hits for the good things they do.
    • It is your job to really be a positive, encouraging force in their lives to help them continue to persevere in all aspects of their lives.

Some Questions to Ask Yourself about Perseverance

• Do you ask for God’s help regularly in living your life well, with intention, charity, and orderliness?
• Do you set goals for yourself and for the future?
  • Do you break down those goals into measurable steps to confirm you are actually still working towards the goal?
• Do you remind yourself on a regular basis why you are persevering in specific activities, and are you making sure they align with your values and morals and the ultimate goals for your life getting to heaven?
• Do you do what you say, when you say you will do it?