Episode Notes:

Background for Church and Children

• This episode is all about church and children – how to bring your children to Mass and how to make the Mass important in your family culture.
  • We will discuss in an upcoming episode the importance of raising your children with an active faith life.
• This episode will teach how to help your children really value going to Mass so that when they are adults, they have created habits and it is simply natural to keep going to church.
• We need to create a family culture around going to Mass, rather than the attitude that Mass is just something that happens in the week.

Simple Mass Etiquette

• It is important to arrive on time to Mass.  And by “on time”, I mean at least five minutes early and before the ceremony actually begins.
  • You want to convey to your children that Mass is important and you are ready for it to begin.
• Try to think about your children’s abilities and their resiliency factor.  How long can they behave or are they capable of sitting quietly for an hour?
  • It might be a good idea to consider attending separate Masses.  One parent stays at home with small toddlers or babies while the other takes the older children to one Mass, and then switch.
  • If you do decide to attend as a whole family, please take the babies and toddlers out when they start to become disruptive – do not wait.  This is a matter of respect for the rest of the congregation who are trying to pay attention.
  • Of course, this is a stage of life for our young children, but do we need to make sure that everyone else around us goes through the same stage?

Having a Faith Life

• Your children need to see that a faith life is important to you.  So what is your attitude about your faith life?
  • Is it just a bunch of rules and obligations or is it having a relationship with God?
  • Does your faith life consist of more than just going to Mass on Sunday or is it just a box that you check at the beginning of the week?
• Do you love your faith? 
  • If you see your faith life as just a set of rules and obligations, the necessary love is absent, and the children will quickly see that.
  • When your children see that you love God and that your whole life surrounds and is filled with Him, they will naturally adopt that mindset.
• Remember, your children are watching you, and they need to see that you value your faith life.

Self-Regulation for Your Children in Mass

• If you have not trained your children to do as you say at home, they will not do so during Mass.  Likewise, if you have not trained your children to have self-regulation at home, they will not have self-regulation outside of the home.
  • Self-regulation is the ability to regulate emotions, thoughts, and actions according to circumstances.
• Do you mean what you say at home?  If you do not, then when they are fooling around in the pew and you say to stop and sit down, they will not obey.
• Make sure that you understand if you want your children to behave in church, you have to make them behave at home, and you have to teach them discipline, which is about teaching them self-regulation.

Teach You Children to Participate

• Require your children to participate in the Mass, but require them to participate from love.
• Make sure their participation is age-appropriate.
  • School-aged children can participate in parts of the Mass, but the little ones cannot.
  • The little ones can join in the Sign of Peace and the Our Father.
  • Help your school-aged children to follow along in the Missal with the readings or the parts of the Mass.
  • When your return to the pew after Communion, teach your children to thank Jesus.
• Watch your tone when you are encouraging your children to participate.  Do not be critical.  Instead, say, “Do you see Jesus?  He is waiting for you.”

Church and Children – Make Sundays Special

• Make Sundays the highlight of the week.
• Dress up for Mass in nice clothes – children and parents.  You are going to see God, so why would you not dress up?
• After Mass, do something that continues the celebration for the children.  Maybe have donuts or a special breakfast when you return home.
• Create family time together on Sundays, and keep the day totally family focused.
  • Consider turning off all tech and phones.  It can wait for a day.

Create the Right Environment

• As the heart of the home, be very careful that you are not impatient or have a disrespectful tone.
• Help your husband and children create an environment that is pure God-focused and family-focused.

Final Thoughts

• Let Sunday be your one day where things calm down and relax.  Have fun together and create memories.
• This is a big component in children continuing to go to Mass as adults – they have happy experiences and memories about Sunday.
• Through the way you form and teach your children about their faith, they will naturally want to continue this relationship with Jesus Christ, with God their Father, and with the Holy Spirit in the Sacrament of the Mass.