Notes From This Episode:

The Problem

• The inner critic constantly causes us to second guess our selves
• We constantly have feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, and anxiety
• We always focus on our weaknesses
• We’re not good at finding comfort in our strengths; we trained our brains to think about all the negative messages we receive in our lives
  • Some messages are indirect and subtle
    • The constant barrage of skinny, beautiful, and perfectly airbrushed women we see on social media
  • Other messages are much more direct
    • Ads and entertainment
    • Comments people make to us
• The inner critic creates stories that we tell ourselves over and over again, which become the framework of our beliefs

Common Messages

• These messages are not unique to you
• A lot of women don’t even realize these messages are just thoughts that they’ve made into beliefs, and they’re not actually true
• Women are not struggling against these messages because they assume they are true – they are walking around broken, sad, and joyless

• You’re Not a Good Mom
  • Maye your children don’t listen, won’t share, or have trouble sleeping through the night
  • Maybe you didn’t deliver your babies like you wanted or maybe you weren’t able to or wanted to breastfeed
  • Maybe your children are adults and they’re making decisions that aren’t bringing them closer to God or to happiness
  • Your inner critic says it’s all your fault – you’re not a good mom
  • It’s not true
• You’re Not Smart Enough
• You’re Fat or Not Pretty Enough
  • Tell your inner critic, “Have you looked at my soul lately?  I’m beautiful, and beauty comes from within”
• Your Husband Will Find Someone Better Than You
  • He will find someone prettier, more fun, or someone who doesn’t have to take care of all those kids (even though we know they’re his children, too)
  • The thought that he’s going to find someone better than you brings feelings of fear, and our fears create actions that are controlling, manipulative, ugly, unhealthy, and cause us to not show up to husband as our best self
  • Then our inner critic is there to show us how terrible we are, and we confirm to ourselves that he will find someone better than us, because, when we’re like that, who isn’t better than us?

More Negative Thoughts That Don’t Serve You

• You’re a Mess
  • You don’t know how to keep a house.  Okay? Maybe you don’t know how to keep a house! Does it mean you are less of a person or you’re not as worthy as others?
  • You’re not less of a person or too stupid or lazy to figure it out – you are who you decide you want to be
  • Don’t let the critic make you feel so unworthy that you don’t even try to learn how to keep a clean home
• You’re Not the Kind of Woman People Will Want to Be Friends With
  • They won’t like you, you’re not like them, you don’t have all the things or the right clothes or go on the amazing vacations they go on, etc.
  • Tell your inner critic the people that God wants you to be friends with will be your friends
• You’re Not Holy Enough
  • You have to strive to love the Lord and be the best Daughter of God that He has created you to be
  • The best way to silence that inner critic is to call on the Holy Spirit and ask Him to do it

Final Thoughts

• Be conscious of how often you criticize yourself
  • True self-care is being kind to yourself, recognizing your strengths and your weaknesses, but not dwelling on your weaknesses
  • Speak kindly to yourself, Love yourself.  Unless you do, you can’t truly love others with your whole heart