Notes from this Episode:

Background

• Your “mommy time”  may be over, but your mothering journey is still ongoing and has some added new dimensions – learning to be a good mother-in-law and Grandma

Lessons I’ve Learned So Far

• Make peace with your mothering years
  • If you struggle with what you think you should have done, what you did poorly, or where you could have done better, I’m here to tell you – make peace with the idea that you did your best
  • You did your best and probably forgot all the ways you sacrificed for your children and were there for them when they needed you most
  • Your children’s decisions do not define your motherhood
    • Our adult children will make mistakes, they will forget who they are and whose they are
    • Your children’s choices do not define your motherhood
• Do not compare your children with your friends’ children
  • We will always lose
  • Envy tends to develop
  • Accept and embrace your adult children for who they are
  • Your children don’t need your opinion all the time.  They will choose their own life and it may look completely different from the one you would have chosen for them
• Tend to your marriage
  • Many couples neglect their spouse during the raising of children – the urgent needs of our children always tend to trump the importance of our marriage
  • If you feel you and your spouse are not as connected as you would like or are living separate lives in the same home, it would be an excellent gift to you, your grown children, and the future grandchildren to reconnect and reignite your relationship with your spouse
  • Our husbands have always needed us.  They have patiently waited while we tended to our children’s’ needs.  Now it is his turn an  our turn, and it’s never too late
• Cultivate new friendships
  • The demand of raising our family often left us with less time than we wanted to spend with our friends
  • Be brave and daring in reaching out to people for fellowship.  Don’t think they must already have friends they’ve had for years
  • It’s never too late to begin friendships.  We need to be with others who are at the same point of the parenting journey to support each other and feel their support
• “Let” God have control
  • He’s always been in control, but the idea is that I’m not in control, not  of my children’s lives nor of my own
  • When you give up trying to control, worry subsides, the stress dissipates, and peace really begins
  • God loves our children more than we do, and when our hearts ache because our adult children are lonely or experiencing serious disappointments, do we trust that God loves them more than we do?
  • Do we trust that all they are going through will, in the end, help them become better people?
  • Let’s bring our children to God in our prayer and let God have His control
• Rest and renew
  • You have the time now to nurture yourself and what you love
  • If there is more you want to do with your life, don’t decide you are too old or too late to do something you love
  • Take time for yourself, nurture you, and be brave and bold to do something new with your life